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luvDhoops
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kage
Joined: 28 Mar 2007
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 Posted: 02/28/08 10:52 pm ::: |
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| Congrats to Anosike. |
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jimmyk
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ZoCroSixPence
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jimmyk
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ZoCroSixPence
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Grumps
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Str8_Butta
Joined: 24 Nov 2004
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| Posted: 02/28/08 11:13 pm ::: |
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| I had been seeing a ring on Nicky's finger since last season, but never heard anyone mention that she was engaged until now. I believe she been engaged for over a year, though I could be wrong..
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thesixthwoman
Joined: 25 Sep 2004
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| Posted: 02/29/08 12:31 am ::: |
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| the bigger question is what's with 21 and 22-year-olds getting engaged and married? do they really have to get married? are they living in the same century that I am?
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ThreeBall25
Joined: 21 Jan 2005
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| Posted: 02/29/08 12:39 am ::: |
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| I wonder if this has any affect on her being able to actually make a lay-up once in a while...
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LadyDevilFan
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thesixthwoman
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LadyDevilFan
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scullyfu
Joined: 01 Jan 2006
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| Posted: 02/29/08 10:01 am ::: |
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| thesixthwoman wrote: |
| because in my mind, you can have everything you would have otherwise without marriage, except with marriage you allow the government entry into your relationship and you give them some degree of control over your freedom and your finances. |
there are legal benefits to being married. for instance, survivor benefits for both the spouse and any underage children; spousal/child support is more or less a given should the marriage break up. the right to part of an ex-spouse's pension after 'x' amount of years of marriage is also a consideration. so there are indeed legal/financial benefits to be considered.
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beknighted
Joined: 11 Nov 2004
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| Posted: 02/29/08 12:10 pm ::: |
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| scullyfu wrote: |
| thesixthwoman wrote: |
| because in my mind, you can have everything you would have otherwise without marriage, except with marriage you allow the government entry into your relationship and you give them some degree of control over your freedom and your finances. |
there are legal benefits to being married. for instance, survivor benefits for both the spouse and any underage children; spousal/child support is more or less a given should the marriage break up. the right to part of an ex-spouse's pension after 'x' amount of years of marriage is also a consideration. so there are indeed legal/financial benefits to be considered. |
I realize that this thread is veering way OT, but what the heck, I'll contribute to the OTness.
Speaking as someone who got married after living in a pretty committed relationship for a while (we were in the process of buying a house when we decided to get married), I will say that I was told by a lot of people that it felt different being married, didn't entirely believe them and then discovered they were right. Even when you live together and have decided to do something like buying a house, there is a contingent element to a non-married relationship that isn't there when you're married. (Yes, of course, there's divorce, but it's a bigger step than breaking up with someone, at least if you're not named Elizabeth Taylor or Mickey Rooney.)
This is one of the reasons that I'm convinced of the importance of gay marriage. If you can't get married, you can't take that next step of commitment. Failing to make marriage available to gays is a way of saying their relationships are less real and more contingent than the relationships between men and women, and I find that notion appalling and hurtful.
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memphis10
Joined: 29 Nov 2005
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| Posted: 02/29/08 2:06 pm ::: |
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| Yep, this has gone way OT. Back to the topic, Congrats to Nicky & Demonte. I kinda like the love & football/basketball connections.
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fancy_daniel
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
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| Posted: 02/29/08 6:50 pm ::: |
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| memphis10 wrote: |
| Yep, this has gone way OT. Back to the topic, Congrats to Nicky & Demonte. I kinda like the love & football/basketball connections. |
I was sort of enjoying this conversation about young people getting married. Personally I discourage it. Who you are at 21 is different than who you are at 31 and 41, etc.
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JACKOWACKO
Joined: 20 Sep 2006
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jimmyk
Joined: 10 Feb 2005
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| Posted: 02/29/08 7:52 pm ::: |
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| fancy_daniel wrote: |
| I was sort of enjoying this conversation about young people getting married. Personally I discourage it. Who you are at 21 is different than who you are at 31 and 41, etc. |
Ain't that the truth. I'm not near the idiot now that I was when I was 21.
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thesixthwoman
Joined: 25 Sep 2004
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| Posted: 02/29/08 9:40 pm ::: |
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| scullyfu wrote: |
| thesixthwoman wrote: |
| because in my mind, you can have everything you would have otherwise without marriage, except with marriage you allow the government entry into your relationship and you give them some degree of control over your freedom and your finances. |
there are legal benefits to being married. for instance, survivor benefits for both the spouse and any underage children; spousal/child support is more or less a given should the marriage break up. the right to part of an ex-spouse's pension after 'x' amount of years of marriage is also a consideration. so there are indeed legal/financial benefits to be considered. |
all true, scully, but at 21 or 22, is that why you're getting married? if it is, isn't that incredibly mercenary (barring extreme circumstances, like political asylum or something, which one should not have to marry for, but that's a whole 'nother ball-o-wax).
so much is happening in this world -- so quickly -- to get married at that young age just strikes me a ridiculous. but i guess that's why young people do it. they just don't know any better. what's that expression? youth is wasted on the young? i can't believe i'm old enough to see my fingers type that and keep a straight face. dammit.
sorry LadyDevilFan. i do wish you much joy and the best of luck, truly. Nicky, too. just please don't rush. if it all feels right to you, nothing i say should matter anyway.
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LakotaStorm
Joined: 30 Jun 2005
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| Posted: 02/29/08 11:35 pm ::: |
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| thesixthwoman wrote: |
| the bigger question is what's with 21 and 22-year-olds getting engaged and married? do they really have to get married? are they living in the same century that I am? |
Sometimes I wonder, is there anything wrong with waiting or living together to see if you are even compatible? Have some fun, don't be in such a hurry to get tied down so young; Odds are you will all be divorced in under 5 years anyway.
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Str8_Butta
Joined: 24 Nov 2004
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| Posted: 03/01/08 12:54 am ::: |
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| People are different, I'm not about to tell someone who is 21 and up what to do with their life. Who's to say they wont be engaged for 4 or 5 years, and then get married. Maybe some of these young ladies are religious to the point that they're not having sex until they get married, maybe that's the rush. Then again, maybe they want to have kids early, and don't want to have them out of wedlock.. I don't know, there could be plenty of reasons..
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thesixthwoman
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LadyDevilFan
Joined: 19 Mar 2006
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| Posted: 03/01/08 11:22 am ::: |
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| thesixthwoman wrote: |
so much is happening in this world -- so quickly -- to get married at that young age just strikes me a ridiculous. but i guess that's why young people do it. they just don't know any better. what's that expression? youth is wasted on the young? i can't believe i'm old enough to see my fingers type that and keep a straight face. dammit.
sorry LadyDevilFan. i do wish you much joy and the best of luck, truly. Nicky, too. just please don't rush. if it all feels right to you, nothing i say should matter anyway. |
No worries, everyone is entitled to their opinion, I take no offense. If it makes any difference, I'll be 23 in a month, and we'll probably be 24 when we get married. And I can see your point that there's so much out there so there's no reason to get married quickly, but I just think that getting married won't prevent me from seeing the world. For some young people who haven't seen the world, haven't matured, or don't know what they're doing with their life, then I can see there are absolutely reasons not to get married.
But take me, for example... I have traveled in Europe every year (except one, when I went to Canada instead) since I was 16. I'm at an Ivy League law school, and I know that working in law has always been for me. I'm living with my fiance now, and our relationship has only improved since living together. We started dating in high school, took a break through college to date other people and to see what's out there, but found that we were happiest with each other. I know EVERYone thinks that THEY have it together, but I think someone could look at my life objectively and reasonably say that I pretty much do have a stable, happy life going in a positive direction. And if there is more of the world for me to see, I'd rather see it with my fiance by my side than by myself anyway.
So this is my case for why I don't see a reason to wait. But I'm genuinely curious, why do you think someone like me SHOULD wait?
And to placate the OT-police, here's something a little more OnTopic:
ASU's two seniors from last season are also among the marrying young group. Emily Westerberg married ASU football alum, Grayling Love last summer. And Aubree Johnson is engaged to be married this summer. Yay love&basketball stories... 
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mabell3368
Joined: 06 May 2006
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| Posted: 03/01/08 2:51 pm ::: |
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| fancy_daniel wrote: |
| I was sort of enjoying this conversation about young people getting married. Personally I discourage it. Who you are at 21 is different than who you are at 31 and 41, etc. |
Ahh, but how thrilling when the two of you grow together. I was just short of my 21st birthday when I got married and we are still together and enjoying each other more than ever 36 (will be 37 this year) years later! Age has nothing to do with it. I don't think any of us has the right to judge the actions of another. You might not feel ready to get married now, but Nikki does. I say, "Good on 'er"
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