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purduefanatic
Joined: 10 Aug 2011 Posts: 2819 Location: Indiana
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Posted: 01/11/17 9:22 am ::: |
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summertime blues wrote: |
My son committed suicide just over a year ago. We all saw it coming like a slow motion train wreck and tried our best to stop it. We knew he was in pain and did as much as we were humanly able to for him. It wasn't enough.
My only question is, did anyone see this child's pain? Did anyone try to help? I can only hope so. |
My sincere condolences to you. One of my dearest and oldest friends (since middle school and I'm now in my mid 40's) had his oldest son commit suicide while in high school and just a couple years later, his wife did the same as she just couldn't bear the pain any longer. It is now just he & his other son.
May you and your family remain strong.
On a side note, I was just talking with a friend of mine the other day about how hard it would be to be a kid in today's world. I was a good kid, never really getting in trouble, but I did some crazy stuff with friends at times like I'm sure we all did. The difference between then and now is that we didn't all have cell phones, recording everything we do with either pictures or video. Today, that is not the case. Everything is recorded by someone whether it's a friend or any of the number of cameras that line our streets nowadays. Not to mention, I feel the world and society has become much more materialistic which just adds to a child's perceived pressure.
Anyway, such a sad situation at Northwestern. I know it has affected the Purdue team quite a bit as a couple of the kids on the team went to the same high school.
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mzonefan
Joined: 15 Oct 2005 Posts: 4878 Location: Ann Arbor, MI
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Posted: 01/11/17 9:57 am ::: |
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summertime blues wrote: |
My son committed suicide just over a year ago. We all saw it coming like a slow motion train wreck and tried our best to stop it. We knew he was in pain and did as much as we were humanly able to for him. It wasn't enough.
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I'm very sorry for your loss. I have a nephew who tried 20 years ago. Luckily my sister found him before he died. He was a week away from going to school for football on a D1 full ride - seemingly everything to live for. Thankfully he worked through his issues and has had a very successful life. I can't imagine how our family would have been changed if things were different.
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ripleydc
Joined: 17 Nov 2004 Posts: 4778 Location: Washington, DC
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summertime blues
Joined: 16 Apr 2013 Posts: 7842 Location: Shenandoah Valley
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Posted: 01/11/17 10:19 am ::: |
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I read that she was a pre-med student. I know that's very high-pressure (I have a brother who is a doctor, but he went back to school after 10 years as a professional musician...I know, weird, right?) and it's possible she felt under too much pressure. Northwestern is a school just FULL of high achievers. Impostor syndrome? Who knows.
My son's situation was a little different. He was lifetime National Guard (his civilian job was with them, as a heavy equipment mechanic) who got sent to Iraq twice on the back-door draft. Something happened on his second tour that he wouldn't--or couldn't--talk about, and he was never the same after that. He self-medicated with alcohol, especially after his (ill-advised) marriage, contracted before his first tour, went down the tubes. Well, that's how it was. We saw it coming. He was 3 weeks away from rehab that we'd finally gotten him into. But enough of that.
_________________ Don't take life so serious. It ain't nohows permanent.
It takes 3 years to build a team and 7 to build a program.--Conventional Wisdom
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readyAIMfire53
Joined: 20 Nov 2004 Posts: 7372 Location: Durham, NC
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Posted: 01/11/17 7:01 pm ::: |
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ripleydc wrote: |
Young people are so vulnerable. It's always been that way. They so often lack the perspective of age, that in most cases things will get better.
Her death has been ruled a suicide. So sad. May she truly find some peace. |
Ripley, bless you. This is so true and so sweetly said.
_________________ Follow your passion and your life will be true down to your core.
~rAf
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readyAIMfire53
Joined: 20 Nov 2004 Posts: 7372 Location: Durham, NC
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YankeeVol
Joined: 18 Jan 2009 Posts: 172
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Posted: 01/11/17 9:53 pm ::: |
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I would call your son a hero, for his service and for all of his attempts to cope with everything he struggled with. God bless you and your family.
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summertime blues
Joined: 16 Apr 2013 Posts: 7842 Location: Shenandoah Valley
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Posted: 01/11/17 10:59 pm ::: |
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Thanks to all for your expressions of sympathy. This is a tough time of year for me, and this young woman's suicide kind of opened the wound fresh again. I feel so much sadness for her family because she seemed to have so much promise, just as my boy had once had. It's always hard for those of us who have to keep on going.
_________________ Don't take life so serious. It ain't nohows permanent.
It takes 3 years to build a team and 7 to build a program.--Conventional Wisdom
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snzuluz
Joined: 10 Aug 2007 Posts: 191
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Posted: 01/12/17 9:01 am ::: |
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The school newspaper interviewed a very close friend of hers who stated that they would talk for hours about her frustrations with basketball, so not sure if class work or basketball played a more major role to end her life...either way, it is so sad, as hanging oneself really sends a firm message to everyone of her despair...if no suicide note is left the "what ifs or whys" will never be answered...have not seem a story yet here in the chicago-land area if a note was left or not...
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Carol Anne
Joined: 09 Apr 2005 Posts: 1739 Location: Seattle
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Carol Anne
Joined: 09 Apr 2005 Posts: 1739 Location: Seattle
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Posted: 01/16/17 9:52 am ::: |
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Women’s Basketball: Northwestern holds off Indiana for emotional 80-67 win
After a trying week marked by tragedy and sadness, Northwestern returned to the court Saturday. It didn’t do so meekly.
In the team’s first game since the death of sophomore guard Jordan Hankins on Monday, senior guard Ashley Deary scored 18 points and senior forward Nia Coffey tallied 14 points and 14 rebounds, as the Wildcats (14-4, 3-2 Big Ten) earned an emotional 80-67 home win over Indiana (12-6, 2-3).
The lower bowl of Welsh-Ryan Arena was packed with 2,482 fans, complete with filled student sections awash in white shirts honoring Hankins, whom the Cats remembered with a moment of silence before tipoff. NU players and coaches wore shooting shirts with Hankins’ name, and sophomore guard Amber Jamison wore Hankins’ No. 5 jersey in her first career start. Jamison scored 13 points.
“I’m proud to be their coach,” Joe McKeown said. “It took great courage for our team to play that game. … They stayed together and tried to support and honor Jordan. That’s really what we’re trying to do.”...
https://dailynorthwestern.com/2017/01/14/sports/womens-basketball-northwestern-holds-off-indiana-for-emotional-80-67-win/
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bballgrl
Joined: 15 Sep 2007 Posts: 3629
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Posted: 01/16/17 10:06 pm ::: |
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I can understand how all who knew her feel. A year and 1/2 ago a young lady who was dear to my heart commited suicide. I had known her since the day she was born and she was like a daughter to me. She was 34 yrs old and her death tore my heart apart. I still cannot believe it and miss her terribly and always will. There was no note left by her.
The family and friends of Jordan are in my heart because I know first hand how it feels to lose someone unexpectly and never have the chance to say goodbye. Never to speak to them again, never to hug them again and never to know why this happened.
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Ladyvol777
Joined: 02 Jul 2013 Posts: 248
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Posted: 01/17/17 12:33 pm ::: |
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So sorry, Praying for family and basketball team.
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NoDakSt
Joined: 26 Oct 2005 Posts: 4929
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